Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Spirit Lifted

It's been way too long since I've been here.  Once again, I think of things to write all the time, but haven't taken the time to sit down and put fingers to the keyboard.  I only have myself to blame. 

It has been a weird year.  I sang a lot up until May.  We had a fabulous season finale concert that just blew me away.  Then there was a very long summer of not many musical commitments at all.  I was laid off from my job late in the summer.  Suddenly, I again was struggling with how to define myself.  Those feelings of poor self worth, sadness, frustration, and yes, loneliness bubbled back to the surface.  Music became my lifeline.  Right as my job ended, rehearsals started. I battled with myself about going to rehearsals.  Not because I didn't want to sing, I did.  I would allow myself to get wrapped up by the bad feelings and frustrating experiences of the day.  But then I would pick up my music bag, point the car in the direction of the rehearsal space, and my spirits would begin to lift.  As I began making music with my fellow choristers, I was refreshed and encouraged.  I'm sure there is science to explain all about why that happens; very brainy technical science about endorphins and physical expression and such.  All I know is, singing has gotten me through some difficult days, and on this eve of Thanksgiving, I am eternally grateful for it.